I start off each trip with a very casual go with the flow attitude. Deep down I so badly want to be as independent on snow as possible.
I was having fun and feeling good. I was positive about what could happen in the coming days. We would mix it up between bucketing and tethering depending on the conditions as we explored the resorts.
After a few days I began to feel frustrated, upset and wanted to give up. It wasn’t the first time that I had similar feelings. I was understanding what my instructor was telling me but I was struggling to put the words in action. It didn’t help that there weren’t ideal conditions with so much snow.
If you feel tired, learn to rest, not to quit
I had a rest day after five full days of varied conditions at different resorts. I wrote a message to my instructor no longer wanting go ahead with the next planned three days because I was struggling. It was difficult to express how I was feeling and how to convey it in just a few words. We messaged back and forth considering all options such as another rest day. I was reminded that I had made some progress and had some great turns. I was also reminded that I had just done five full days and conditions made it difficult too.
I didn’t cancel. I would have regretted it if I had cancelled. I needed to get better by practicing. I was there to ski.
We made plans. I had options to choose the resort, start and end time.
It felt like it took me longer to get ready each morning. I still considered not going out but I pushed through. I was feeling tired but I was there to ski and had to make the most of it.
The first day back after rest day was at Akukura Kanko with Sam. Sam and I learnt how to best work together. I asked Sam to not except no as an answer and to question why. There was only a few acceptable reasons to stop such as being too cold with blue lips. I had so much fun that we skied until the lift closed with a break for lunch in the middle. I was feeling positive again and having fun.
I look back on the positives. There was was so much beautiful and soft powder. We explored 6 different resorts (3 which I hadn’t been too before). I learnt many new things. I made new friends and built deeper connections.
I look forward to practicing and continuing my journey towards more independence on snow.
Kate Swain 